What A Week.

 

 

 

Wow. What a week this has been. It’s been filled with ups and downs, lessons in abundance, and beautiful fruit.

My squad, along with the other gap year (C squad)  drove up to Black Mountain, NC for domestic ministry. We all spent the week learning to love people well through conversation, construction, cooking, child care, and community.

This looked nothing like I thought it would, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I went into this experience expecting to connect with home owners and get my hands dirty by building a house. However, my team ended up being assigned the roles of base ops and Mercy Chefs. This meant that for the first two days we stayed on base, doing tasks that needed to be done in order to care for the camp well (weed whacking, insulation for a hot water container, hanging lights, power washing tables, etc). The last two days with Mercy Chefs were filled with food prep (chopping hundreds of pounds of chicken, onions, other veggies, bread, and so much more).

If I’m being completely honest, my heart wrestled the feelings of frustration and gratitude as I walked through what the Lord set before us. Knowing that He ordained my team to join in those things for a specific reason was very comforting, but I needed to take the time to mourn the disappointment trying to consume me.

I wanted so badly to connect with those hit with disaster. I wanted to hear their stories, bring the comfort that I could, and learn what life looked like for so many.

Learning that I would barely leave base, not being able to connect in that way, weighed on my heart deeply.

BUT, God is still good. On the first day of ministry (Monday) I weed whacked all day. Perfectionism was coming out and I so badly wanted to minister with people – whether that was my team, any squad mate,  homeowners, or someone on the street. The Lord heard my cry and gave me a gift that day. I went inside for lunch and started talking to a guy from a local college who was an apprentice working around campus. This touched my heart and I was so grateful the Lord saw me and put him in my path. Through that, I realized that nothing we’re about to do overseas is about the work. It’s about the King and surrendering to His heart for us – no matter what it looks like.

As my team worked with Mercy Chefs, I learned so much. When we had team time the evening of our first day doing food prep, we poured out our hearts to each other and realized that each one of us was struggling that day, but we all did it separately. The next day, we went back to the kitchen so unified, and it was beautiful. We chopped 125 lbs of onions for 2 hours, and through the tear stained faces and burning eyes, we laughed so hard we could feel our abs popping out. Once again, I learned that ministry doesn’t always look like I want it to, but it’s beautiful because I trust my God and what He’s doing.

Most mornings, I woke up and went on early morning runs with some of my teammates. Each one was with a new group of people and uniquely beautiful. However, yesterday’s run was an adventure like one I’ve never been on. We intended to stop and watch the sunrise halfway through, but a mile in we took a detour. Our little group found an old train track and decided to run on it for the next mile and a half. We ran through the coolest tunnel and then hiked up the side of the mountain in an attempt to get back to the road. It was a whole jungle and one of the most fun things I’ve done. We bonded and laughed and saw the world as God made it. Once we found the road an hour later, our jog began once more. On our way back to the base, running freely through the streets of Black Mountain, the boys stopped and picked me and Skylar the most beautiful bouquets. It was the sweetest ending to the most stunning morning. bouquets in hand, flowers in hair, waving to every car driving past, and twirling in the streets.

I was also learning more about love this week. Many days I broke and needed to be rebuilt. On Monday I felt surrounded yet lonely, desiring to live in love yet scared of going deeper. That evening, during worship, I fell and the Lord caught me. I broke and was rebuilt. I called and He answered. I cried and He comforted me. Abba not only surrounded me with His presence, but He brought one of my sweet leaders, my whole team, and one of my best friends to cry with me, listen intently, and share with grace. They received me in love. I praise God for my new family.

There were so many lessons this week and His beauty exudes through them all. I’m so grateful that I don’t need to know the answers because I know His presence. I’m also grateful that He’s not in a hurry and is patient as I walk through the healing of hurt I didn’t know I had. I’m grateful for flowers and sweet moments. I’m grateful for interruptions and hard days. I’m grateful for early mornings and tired nights. I’m grateful for friends that feel like family. I’m grateful for my Abba and all He’s done for me.

So much love to you all – thank you for reading my heart 🙂

“May the LORD bless you and keep you;
The LORD make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you;
The LORD lift up His face upon you and give you peace.”
Numbers 6:24-26

~Rissa🫶