This morning, just after 2am, we drove a way from a place that feels like home. We left a people who I already miss-a family created so fast.

I became numb to the constant animal voices but not to the heart cries of the people. Each and everyday was spent seeing broken people and rejoicing with the ones who have been saved. Life with the Catracho team is a constant party and is itself a reason to celebrate.

Our days were long and nights were short. Sometimes my brain checked out during morning and evening devos, but I’m forever grateful for the way we were poured into.

I became sick on our very first day in Honduras. I was knocked out cold but was cared for as a mom cares for her daughter, as a sister is there for her own, and as a friend comforts her bestie. Right away we were family with the Catrachos. They immediately welcomed us in - literally with hugs as tight as could be. Every day we laughed together  and learned together and walked together and sometimes even cried together. They are now my family - ones that live a plane ride away.

We all said goodbye last night after the sweetest send off celebration. Tears wanted to fall all night as I thought about leaving the ones I love in a place I pray I’ll come back to.

My squad and I just landed in America. My senses are filled. The buildings seem extravagant, the music is in English, hearts feel a little harder, the taste of familiar things are all around, and my nose isn’t currently filled with the smell of horse poop.

As we landed, my heart couldn’t help but ask the question, “why am I here?” As I walked through the airport, I felt a longing to go back. As I stepped through security, being ushered along at a rapid pace and spoken to in an unkind way, I was reminded of the clerk in Honduras with a tender heart and the biggest smile.

But, as this longing ran through my heart, the Lord was kind to bring a handful of lost people into my direct path. As Carter, Lia and I talked to and prayed with them, our God began to break my heart for what breaks His. Is He not the same God in America as He is in Honduras? As He is in Malaysia? Of course He is the same. He doesn’t change or cast a shifting shadow. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. So as He started to reveal His very heart, mine became even softer and a little more tender toward the countless lost souls that walk around me.

Yes, it may be hard to be here at times. But, it was also hard there. Yes, the culture is different here, but it’s just as beautiful. Maybe people seem a little more closed off, but we were all made by the same God and He’s the one tilling the soil anyway. My only job is to plant seeds.

I’m working through some fear with being back, but man He’s made me to love people and He’s here with me. It’s gonna be okay.

I’m excited to see you all soon and I THANK YOU for your constant support - kind words, encouragement, prayer, and financial blessings. Truly, my life has been forever changed by these people, these experiences, and by the quiet time I learned to have with the Lord. I think my book would be very long if I tried to write down all that the Lord taught me during these 9 months. I will never be the same and I am forever grateful.